Predators

By far the best movie I’ve seen all summer, which I know isn’t saying much considering what has come out. It knew what is and didn’t try to be anything more than it was. Predators is the perfect summer blockbuster filled with aliens, semi-interesting characters, explosions, and dumb, but not too dumb dialogue. I’d see it again.

Twilight Saga: Eclipse

I could shit a better movie than this. I suffered through reading the books and go to see these films for a laugh. However, the job of the screenwriter is to adapt a book as easy and mindless as the Twilight series into a movie either equivalent to quality of the book or better, not worse. If I was an actual fan of Bella, Edward, and Jacob I would hire a hit on the screenwriter.

Knight and Day

A summer blockbuster featuring Tom Cruise, Cameron Diaz, and lots of action, so it can either be mildly entertaining or terrible. Luckily it was mildly entertaining if one is in the mood for a mindless popcorn movie with mildly witty jokes and slam bam star power. Though this film is pretty forgettable, except when it comes to the true identity of the actors, it was good for a giggle.

Splice

A good, classic sci-fi film without all the extra footage of action and explosions is rare these days. Splice is a rare gem. The updated version of Frankenstein involves a couple of N.E.R.D.’s and their special creation Dren: a hybrid of human, bird, butterfly, and cat (I think). This movie was enjoyable to watch with excellent pacing and like every good science fiction had social commentary.

Letters to Juliet

It is wonderful to go to a movie and get exactly what you were expecting and what you wanted. This movie was a chick flick about love and romance in Verona, Italy, pure and simple. It never got too sappy or whiny and it left me wanting to find true love and go to Italy. It was the perfect daydream of a lovely summer romance. Extra bonus: I made a new friend when I went to go see it.

Sex and the City 2

The idea of spending another two hours with my favorite New York City girlfriends made me giddy. After the movie though, my expectations fell flat. The movie had no plot. There were good moments and plenty of chances to have plot, but these a movie does not make. The “plot” was more based in fantasy than reality. The decoy plot I heard of before the movie came out involved Mr. Big was suppose to be traveling on business because of losing in the recession and might have an affair and Miranda quitting her job to open a restaurant with Steve. These would’ve added more depth to an already criticized for being shallow subject matter. The direction that Michael Patrick King decided to go in was an outrageous, extravagant adventure that felt more like a gay man’s idea of how Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte, and Miranda should act instead of how women really do act.

Iron Man 2

After a week of writing a feature length screenplay and an 800 word paper, all I wanted to do was sit in a dark theater, eat popcorn, and watch things explode. Iron Man 2 satisfied these wants. Though it can’t compare with the first one, it was still fun. The acting was solid and Scarlet Johansson made me want a Black Widow movie. There should be more female action heroes and it would be really nice to have a female comic book movie that’s actually decent.

Death at a Funeral

I know this is a remake and I’ll admit to never seeing the original, so this review is purely based on the new movie, which was funny. Maybe it was the being half awake and wearing my pajamas to go see the movie, but I was laughing out loud on a frequent basis. Though all the comedians were hilarious, the best was James Marsden. His performance of the unexpectedly drugged boyfriend was worthy of an Oscar.

Clash of the Titans

Being a fan of the original and a fan of Greek mythology in general, I was hesitant about seeing this film. In comparison to the original, the special effects in the new one are much better especially when it comes to Medusa and the kraken. I didn’t see the movie in 3D, but I don’t see it making much of an improvement. What made this movie horrible was their complete disregard for Greek mythology. It was as if the screenwriter couldn’t take the time to go to Barnes and Nobel and pick up a book on mythology. Zeus and Hades are fighting like God and Lucifer from Christianity and Medusa was no longer vain, she was a rape victim. The tragic thing is children are going to see this movie, this blockbuster, and think this is what Greek mythology is. So much art, so much of our culture is based on these myths, it is blasphemy to pervert them so much.

How to Train Your Dragon

Out of lack of choices about what movie to review, I let my best friend who loves animation, drag me to go see How to Train Your Dragon, and it was everything I would expect. There’s a story about a misfit in this Viking versus dragon culture and he has to prove himself, but realizes he would rather train dragons than kill them. It is filled with celebrity voices and it is easy to tell which actor is voicing which character. The one thing that really bothered me was the super quick edits during the action scenes. There were some shots I couldn’t even process because of how fast the images moved across the screen. No wonder children have ADD.